Finding someone you look up to, someone who inspires you, is one of the best ways to grow, live through purpose, and have more fun.

You’ll know it when you find them. You want to be around them, you want to hear what they have to say, they make you feel humble. Recently, for me, it’s been raining mentors.

Here are five qualities I look for in a mentor or a muse that help me know they can assist me in walking my true path.

5) Transparency – People who have nothing to hide – and you can tell – have done the work on themselves that’s required in order to find peace. Just watch them. By osmosis they’ll show you how you too can be more transparent…more truthful.

4) Lack of Fear – When confronted with conflict, or potential embarrassment, they observe instead of reacting. They breathe instead of barking. There is a glimmer of peace in their eyes, nothing sharp or dark. I am not afraid. Note that if they are, however, being chased by a bear, they will exhibit appropriate, action inducing fear, but will likely not breakdown and tuck into fetal.

3) Confidence – Not awkward false projections of self-assurance, but the true blue radiance of someone who has ventured into the dark little corners of self and has emerged alive and better off for it. True confidence, to the observant eye, will not be mistaken for arrogance, unless the viewer themselves is uncomfortable with their own presence.

2) Unafraid to share – A mentor is not a hoarder of peace. They do not keep their lessons clutched in a tight fist; rather they release them with an open palm for the whole world to enjoy if they so choose.

1) Alignment of values – Honesty. Expression. Compassion. Connectedness. Charity. Harmlessness. A mentor is not only aligned with your values – that’s what can help you learn from them – but their actions are also in line with their own values. You will not find a mentor parking in a handicapped spot, even just to ‘pop into the store’. They do not lie. They give openly of their gifts without seeking recognition or needing to share their stories of charity. Not only are they kind to themselves, but they are infinitely kind to the other beings in their presence. Also, an integrated person will almost assuredly demonstrate most – if not all – of the qualities listed above.

Here are some of the people who have been inspiring me lately:

Marianne Williamson

Gabby Bernstein

Danielle LaPorte

Val Hanover (my mom)

Marie Forleo

To your inspiration.

Love, Jen.

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